How to get OVER him, already!

 So I guess it’s time to get over the dude. Whether you were under him him for a minute (hopefully a bit longer tho), a few months or a year, you’ve decided it’s time to finally let go. The why, when, who & how is your business but my business to help you through this (let’s face it) shitty time.


I know you’re all going through a different situation, for some of you it may be a fresh breakup and for others it might be that one guy you just can’t seem to let go of. Listen my darlings, don’t read this thinking you’ll try all this just to get his attention. As cliche as it sounds the best revenge and the best way to move on is by DOING YOU. When you’re fully focused on your own health & happiness, you’ve moved on! If it’s meant to be he will come back to you but you CANNOT live your life just hoping for that, you have to live your life in spite of him. If he comes back around, then at that point you have a CHOICE.

1) CUT ALL TIES – This is so simple but it’s also the HARDEST thing to do, it’s DOABLE though (just like Channing Tatum – Smile!).

Delete him from your social media life : Facebook, IG, Twitter, Pinterest (Was he gay tho?).

Cut him out of all pics : from your place, Facebook, emails, sex pics, sex videos & whatever else you nasty girl.

Don’t hang on to his family & friends, hopefully you’ve got your own support system and even though you’ll miss them there’s no moving on this way.

Don’t hang on to memorabilia : Throw out/ put out of sight all the sentimental crap he gave you, whether it was an album or cards or whatever else. HANG ON to all good gifts such as shoes, purses, jewelry and other goodies…let’s not go crazy here.

THE BIGGEST TIE YOU NEED TO CUT IS : Drum roll please……HIS PENIS! Don’t fool yourself..thankyou!

** If you’re hoping to get him back, just remember no one will miss you unless you give them a chance to **


2) LINK UP W A SINGLE GF – You’re gonna wanna rely on all your girlfriends because they’re gonna be like the Dhali Lama of break ups for you, basically they know their shit. However, you need a good single gf who’s gonna wanna be out with you and understands what you’re going through.

3) WORK IT OUT – It makes your body and mind happier (edorphins) and makes the male parts happier too ( standing ovation kinda happy). You’re single, you’re gonna wanna get out there and be the HOTTEST commodity so you gotta tone up that ass

4) SOLO SESH – You’re now manless and although this is gonna mean less headaches it is probably also gonna mean less orgasms. So whatever your poison, go get your toolbox stacked.

5) FEEL SEXY – Sexy is subjective so there’s no one way that works for everyone. Do whatever it is YOU need to do to feel sexy, here are some ideas:

Take care of yourself and always try to look your best which will make you feel your best too. Running into him while you’re looking fabulous is just a bonus.

Show off your body by wearing sexy, body hugging dresses.

Pamper yourself with a spa day, get your hair done, get waxed..etc.

Get some boudoir style photos done.

6) DATE – I’m not saying jump into a relationship with the next Jo Blow that walks by but go on dates and have some fun. Don’t sit at home & dwell on it. Preferably go out with guys who you wouldn’t seriously date: A) This is no time for you to get back into a relationship B) Don’t ruin future chances with a great guy by letting him see you like this, “oh my ex and I used to come here,” get the picture!

** For some girls sex will help you get over the last dude especially if it’s good and for some it might make you displace your emotions from your ex into new guy, so just be honest with yourself please. **

7) BUSY BEE – Join that class you’ve always wanted to join, take that trip you’ve always wanted to take or start that new hobby you’ve always wanted to start. Now that you don’t need to spend all that time on that DICK (literally and figuratively) do whatever you’ve always wanted to do.

8) FEEL IT – Don’t turn into a robot, be in touch with your feelings and let yourself feel it all. If you don’t, you’re only screwing with your own future because all these nasty issues will creep their heads into your next relationship. So if you need to cry, get angry or just be sad then give yourself that but don’t let it become a daily occurrence.

9) FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVES – I’ve always been told (by many girls) that I have a gift for getting over men, then consider this your birthday. Don’t sit there and focus on all the good things you had in that relationship or the cute memories you shared but rather on all his annoying quirks. Relationships take two to work and two to end so focus on all the reasons why you fought with him, all the habits you hated and the mistakes he made.


10) FOOL YOURSELF – I’ve saved the BEST for last. The absolute best way to get over your ex is to just act like you’re over him and that you’re happy and over time you will start to believe it. With each passing day you’re becoming stronger and moving one step closer to your future, so until you’re fully there just make yourself believe that you are.

LEARN FROM IT – This is not a step but rather a bonus from having gone through a breakup and following the above steps. Be honest and see where you went wrong but also give yourself some credit for the good you did. Reflect on you, your past and look forward to your future.

You may as well sin in style.