10 PLASTIC SURGERY procedures you’ve probably never heard of

With plastic surgery becoming more and more common amongst us “normal” people, do you ever wonder what the crazies & celebrities are doing to themselves? Sure I’m an advocate of plastic surgery (in moderation) but some procedures are out right ludicrous, I’m about to shine a light on this mystery..sarcasm included.

 

1) VAGINAL BLEACHING 

Just think how pretty your vagina selfies will look on Instagram..you can even use #NOFILTER & really mean it. So whether you decide to do this at home or take the professional route and get it whitened w/ laser, please make sure to drive yourself to a therapist shortly after. COST: Unknown..do you really wanna know tho?

catbleach

2) HAND INJECTIONS

I guess they’re just injecting everything these days. You can lift your face to the moon and back but inevitably your hands will give your age away. After all, Joan Rivers is like 105 years old and yet her hands don’t look a day over 40. I kinda wonder how far she’s taking this whole fillers thing? Like seriously..how far down?? COST : Approx $2500

3) CALF IMPLANTS / REDUCTIONS 

Whether they’re too big or too small, your perfect calves await. You know what they say calves are the windows to the soul..they’re like super important ok!?! COST : Implants / Reduction- $6000-$7000

calves

4) BREAST FAT INJECTIONS

What better way to spend that annoying stack of $30,000 just lying around? Sure this won’t really give you a bigger cup size but it will make your breasts look fuller..so will your period & that shit is free! COST : $20,000 – $30,000

5) TOE SHORTENING / REMOVAL

I’m not gonna lie, this one sounds particularly good to me. I often find myself wondering how much I really need my pinky toe, especially when I’ve kept my feet in some closed toe shoes long enough for them to feel like ground beef. Julianne Moore needs to get in on this..like ASAP! COST : $2000-$4000

toeshang

6) MOUTH CORNER SURGERY

Wanna know the secret to true happiness? Forget family, love and success..it’s actually all about getting surgery to turn the corners of your mouth upward and give you a a permanent smile. At the end of the day the only thing that really matters is how things appear on the outside, screw your emotions. COST : $2000-$5000

7) FACIAL FEMINIZATION SURGERY / JAW SHAVING / FACIAL RESHAPING

Ever wonder how Kim Kardashian’s face went from looking like Fiona (SHREK) to gorgeously sculpted within a week of having a baby? Sorry losing weight alone wont completely change your face structure. This is a very popular procedure amongst celebrities and people from the transgender community, she obviously only belongs to one group. COST : $3500-$7500

kimkb4after

8) RIB REMOVAL

How far are you willing to go for an hourglass figure? Personally I wouldn’t take it any further than a BBL but then again ribs are so 2013. COST : $5000-$10,000

9) EAR LOBE REMOVAL / INJECTIONS

Because nothing quite sums up beauty like an ear without a lobe. COST : $500-$2500

earss

10) INJECTIONS IN YOUR FEET

As disgusting as this may sound, after a long night of wearing 6 inch heels I would probably partake. Apparently this new procedure is catching on quick, from celebrities to the rest of us. Fillers (such as Juvrederm) are injected into the heels, balls and even the pads of your toes to give you extra cushioning and hence less foot pain. Crazy? Me thinks not! COST : $500 – $2000

BONUS : Just in case the above list isn’t crazy enough for you, you could always purchase some new balls for your dog..and no I’m not talking about toys.