Maybe doomed is a little…dramatic, but hey it got your attention. So by now I (and the whole world) know that no relationship is a walk in the park 24/7, but it also shouldn’t feel like a constant uphill climb either.
In the beginning of a relationship everything is new & exciting. I mean, that is if you’ve actually made it to the relationship part and they didn’t turn out to be one of those people you went on 3 painful dates with and were forever repulsed by afterward. You’ve made it to the first month or two, the makeout sessions are in full force, their A game is on and the sex is POPPIN! Awesome, congratulations, glad you’re getting laid while I’m, well…not (but that’s a different story). Some of what I just said might not apply to your relationship though, you may find that your relationship seems like a lot of work, from the very beginning. GET OUT…sorry was that too dramatic, okay let’s try it again…GET THE FUCK OUT!!!! Unless your relationship is difficult because of outside circumstances like distance, there really should be no excuse for it in the beginning.
I’ve done enough talking, so here are some signs that your relationship is headed for the hills, doomed, R-I-P, not right, it’s not meant to be…and whatever else you wanna call it.
1) YOU CONSTANTLY FIGHT
Fighting is normal and can definitely be healthy. It helps you understand you and your partner’s boundaries and desires as well as how to communicate and work through problems. BUT if you find yourself arguing about every little thing from early on, you’ve got bigger problems. It will not get better over time, the only thing that will happen over time is wrinkles all over your damn face from all the fighting facial expressions. It’s better to be single than old AND single. Believe!
2) SEXUAL DISCONNECT
If you find yourself complaining that you’re having too little sex with your partner or too much (OKAY, I hate you if this is your problem), then you already have an issue. Sexual disconnect can be a sign of multiple other issues or be the gateway to future problems in your relationship. Some people are not as sexually driven and in fact prefer to have very little sex while others need to have sex to feel connected. If you and your partner aren’t on the same page about sex now, it will only get worse. AIN’T NO MAN EVER IMPROVED FROM A 4 IN BED TO A 10, if he has I want receipts people!
3) YOU HAVE NO COMMON INTERESTS
He wants to eat pizza while you want to eat kale. You want to go to the club while he wants to read a book and you want to do missionary while he wants to give you a dirty Sanchez. You two are just different, plain & simple. I think opposites CAN attract, sure, it’s happened to me before. I’m funny while my ex had the sense of humor of wall, but you definitely need something to bond you together. Partners can naturally grow apart over time and if you have nothing in common to begin with, well you can see how easily it can happen.
4) THE TRUST WAS BROKEN EARLY ON
He did your friend before you guys became exclusive, you lied about going on that trip with your ex and now it’s all a big mess .Okay, so relationships are not black and white and any/every situation can vary depending on the couple and their dynamic. However, once trust is broken, you can’t just glue the pieces back together and hope for the best. I do believe that (few) couples can overcome cheating & lying BUT it will not happen over night and will take a tremendous amount of work. So if the trust was broken in the very beginning, you better be prepared to do A LOT of work which may not even suffice. Just move on, if you lied and or cheated, your heart was probably not fully in it to begin with.
5) YOU DON’T HAVE FUN TOGETHER
They can’t/don’t make you laugh…is that any way to live your life?! Going back to my previous point about me being funny and my ex having the sense of humor of a wall, well…it was painful. I found myself digging for his sense of humor, constantly. Like the minute he said something even remotely humorous I was like “YES, lord, raineth thy jokes on me.” If you can’t laugh, be silly and have fun with your partner then maybe you’re boring? But seriously, how can you expect to spend a life time with someone if you can’t even be entertained by them for a few months or a few years?!
6) NOT EACH OTHER’S BIGGEST FAN
It might be you or it might be your significant other but being with someone who isn’t your biggest supporter, cheerleader and fan can be painful. If the person who knows you best or is supposed to know you best doesn’t believe you can achieve your dreams then in theory it’s hard to find anyone else who will. Be with someone who stands beside you and gives you confidence, not someone who tears you down and sucks all the support out of you. It’s a two way street honey, you get what you giveth.
Okay kids, that’s all I got.